Q-U-A-D-S

Last night I had the best of dreams. You know the ones. The ones where you have giant quadriceps and for some reason you have the uncanny ability to bound across the ground in leaps of 30 feet or more.

Well it was one of those dreams, and oh my-lanta was it great. I looked down, and I was wearing tight, taut, and tiny red shorts and my thighs were rippling and tan. The rest of my body was just as decrepit and thin as ever. But these quads... my oh my.

In my dream I started off by vaulting forward, then planted my next foot down and pushed off, leaping farther forward and gaining speed. Before long I was doing bounds of several yards at a time. Forthwith, I was leaping fences, garages, small buildings, and eventually I merged onto the freeway and began my journey as a super-humanoid automobile. Smiling as the high velocity caused my blonde hair to billow and surge, I passed car after car as astonished drivers gave reproving but impressed glares at me. The wind whipped at my face and the air was sweet as I wound through the forest roads of Connecticut, the only man to ever achieve freeway speeds using merely his natural elements of biology.

Then I woke up, and I was wearing white soccer shorts. My quads were no longer Olympic. And, as all dreams of that fortitude, I was only left with disappointment.

I've tried to extrapolate what this dream means in the macrocosm of my life, and the only thing I can think of is that at some point in time, I'm going to have massive thighs.

Yep, it's gonna be sweet.